I leave in the morning to join Linda in Washington for an extra long weekend. Not the best time to be away from here with the Convergence Summit to begin in two weeks but it is the time we have. We are getting very close to the 50 students (41 today) we asked God for. It is going to be a powerful time!
Going back to Washington is always filled with mixed emotions. Great joy at seeing our children and our 5 grandchildren. They are all so fun to be with and in different ways doing great things for the Kingdom. Nothing better than that and the focus will be totally there. I am so blessed to have great children, who are more friends than “kids” and grandchildren who get excited when they see us.
But there is still a sadness in returning. Knowing, after almost exactly 3 years, nothing has changed between people who were my “best” friends and me. Our relationships are still broken and no attempt is being made to fix them. I made a run at it one relationship this past summer and the other person tried and I appreciated their effort, but finishing the task was not as important to them as everything else in their life. Others it seems, just don’t care. And really, why would they? Three years have gone by, everyone has moved on… To find real, obvious, public forgiveness is too hard, too messy. Why bother?
I reread Abba’s Child with regularity. This is the passage I opened to, tonight: The exigencies of forgiveness are simply beyond the capacity of ungraced human will. Only reckless confidence in a Source greater than ourselves can empower us to forgive the wounds inflicted by others. Experientially, the inner healing of the heart is seldom a sudden catharsis or an instant liberation from bitterness, anger, resentment and hatred. More often it is a gentle growing into oneness with the Crucified who has achieved our peace through His blood on the cross. This may take considerable time because the memories are still so vivid and the hurt so deep. But it will happen.
I hope so.
(Abba’s Child-Brennan Manning, Navpress 1994, 2002, page 68)